Man is a social animal and is bound to interact with other individuals in the community, as no one can be an island. Inter-personal relationship is a positive and healthy social life style for personal development and collective good of the society. However, our choice of friends can affect us positively or negatively. Life is in choices, influence is a product of environment. Our friends to a large extent make us who or what we become by their overwhelming influence on us.
By friends I do not refer to casual acquaintances, rather I mean friends as people you like so much and spend lots of your time with, share your secrets and in reality they are part of your life. These friends we meet either coincidentally or on direct one on one approach, has a significant role they play in our lives. Every level of friendship, ranging from casual, close or intimate friendship has a degree of influence inter-changed between the individuals involved.
This influence is a process of making people close to us behave in a patterned way or style by the reason of what they hear or see in us. Of course, we too are often times ignorant of this role which we play in their lives and vice versa. Friends contribute to our lives positively or negatively and so there is need for us to make a wise choice of people we want. The truth is that birds of same feather do not just flock together but move same direction and likely end same destination. So your friends can influence where you are going in life. Many a times, we attach sentiments and emotions more than reason and rationality in this area of our lives. It depends on principles and values that govern us, it depends on goals and ambitions we are passionate about and our sense of direction and purpose in life. If we are conscious of these, then there is need for an evaluation or re-evaluation of who our friends are.
First, get a pen and paper. Make a list of all your friends and honestly write down the answers to these evaluation questions in assessing your list of friends.
#1 Do they add to you? Do they make you a better person, has knowing them improved your life positively? They show you true love, care and constantly build you up?
#2 Do they subtract from you? Are they constantly taking away from you, your confidence, esteem, happiness, personal belongings, and never gives? Has your life been shattered knowing them, have you lost your principles and values since you met them?
#3 Do they divide you? Are they discouraging whenever you come up with an idea or plan, do they weigh you down with painful words and actions that keep hurting you?
If you have honestly answered these questions without sentiment, assign each of your friend to any of the number, you will see the result yourself of how much positive or negative friends you have and score yourself.
The problem most times is that we love to hold on people we should let go. We are not bound to be friends to everybody. They are people that you come across that could be of help to you but not really friend-materials. Yes you may like them, they may be nice superficially, but can they make a meaningful contribution to your life. Life is a symbiotic relationship, so quit thinking of managing people. We do not manage people, people manage themselves. Have a clear list of values that decide your choice of friends and stick with people of similar interest and passion.
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