I know the topic might create some embarrassment and unease to some of us, but the aim of this write-up is to really look at the act of masturbation which has become quite rampant among young people today. Masturbation has become the easiest way to sexual pleasure in both boys and girls. To some, the guilt always accompany such act which they have become addicted to, to others it is just a way of relieving themselves and controlling their natural urge when their sex partner is not around or a kind of solo-sex to others who choose to stay alone after series of heartbreak, or for the purpose of technically keeping their virginity. Well for whatever reason one chooses to masturbate, the question we ask ourselves is; is it really helpful? I guess you have your answers and reasons already in your mind which you are entitled to as your own personal opinion.
What really is masturbation? Masturbation is sexual stimulation of one's own genitals, usually to the point of orgasm. This has slang used to refer to it today in the society such as jerk off, wank, and so on. Masturbation could be in different forms such as Male masturbation; where a man stimulates himself sexually by holding the penis with his arm, stroking back and forth in different postures either laying back, sitting down with his legs apart or standing. Other techniques involved include fondling of the gland, nipples or other erogenous parts of the body with the finger usually accompanied with sexual fantasies while fondling the penis which in most cases finally ends with ejaculation.
Female masturbation is also seen among women. This involves rubbing, stroking or pressing the vulva, especially the clitoris with the finger which could also by inserted or with the use of objects like cloth or pillow, candles, pen, or sex toys like vibrators, lubricants, an so on. Also fondling of the nipples, and other sexually sensitive parts of the body during bathing is common in women.
Another form of masturbation practiced by people is mutual masturbation where two individual stimulate their genitals with their fingers without really having real sex. Two people in a relationship prefers to fondling their bodies than real intercourse.This also could be between people of same sex as in the cases of homosexuality and lesbianism.
Perhaps you fall within any of these categories of masturbation and like most people, sees nothing wrong with it, or might have become so much addicted into it. Masturbation addiction is one of the strongest addiction difficult to break in human beings. Its force goes beyond just medical or scientific explanation to spiritual. A lot of people struggle to quit masturbation but always see themselves falling back into it after some days or weeks. To some it has been on for years, and they now see it as a habit and natural act, that they can not stop even after so much self-effort, resolutions, praying and fasting, counselling, methods. All their attempts seem to be futile as most times they see themselves deeply engulfed in the act, falling back to masturbating more frequent. It has been a siege to people's spirituality. The guilt and regret that accompanies the act in many reduces their self esteem and value, while others see it as fun or a way of controlling their sexuality. By and large, Masturbation as pleasurable as it may be to the one in the act, has harmful effects. It can lead to addiction which becomes very difficult to stop, it can reduce self esteem and value, it can lead to memory lapse in the brain which affects retentiveness and intelligence, it can lead to spiritual dryness and attracts God's punishment. Below are helpful tips on how to overcome masturbation;
First, you have to see masturbation as an unhealthy habit. This realization will help you make a decision to say no to it. So start by determining in your heart quit masturbation.
Avoid films, books, or things that arouse your sexual feelings. Most times people masturbated due to pressure of sexual urge. They masturbate to ease themselves of the tension already burning in them for sex. So it would be helpful if you want to quit masturbation to avoid pornography of any kind at all cost! Pornographic materials will only end up putting you under the pressure to masturbate. Get rid of the porn films and nude magazines, romantic novels and dispose any masturbation aid in your possession.
Be sensitive to your feelings. Know when the urge or desire to masturbate is coming and redirect your mind and focus to other activity. Truth is that sex is mental, masturbation begins in your mind as a thought and that is why you deliberately strategize on the best technique to use to derive more pleasure. So it is a battle of your mind. Pay less attention to the desire when it comes by Engaging your mind in other things of interest like movies, listening to music, sporting activities or hanging out with friends.
Most people have more thoughts of masturbation during loneliness or when they are bore. So they try to get temporary excitement from masturbation. Avoid such idleness. An idle mind is devil's workshop. Always engage your mind into something. When bored you can visit a friend, especially when you sense your body is becoming sexually alerted. A walk might be helpful. Some people suggest taking a bath during such moments. This could be more tempting as you are secluded in a lonely place where you would be more tempted to touch your naked body or fondle your genitals with the lubrication from the soap making it more pleasurable. So do not create more atmosphere for it at such time.
Understand that the desire will always come, so do not give in to it. When a habit is part of you, trying to stop it may pose as a big challenge but do not quit on your determination even when you fall into the temptation. Masturbation or sex urge could be very strong and compelling, but any time you overcome it, you are one step better than you were before.
Counselling can help. Any problem undisclosed remains unsolved. So do not die in silence. People are often ashame or shy to own up that they masturbate. Your boldness to confide in someone for counselling on quitting masturbation can go a long way in putting it to an end. Quit the pretense and hypocrisy, open up to your local pastor or any helpful counselor for solution to your problem.
Ask God for the help through His spirit to help you overcome it. You can live victoriously above it without struggle through the power of God. Constant read and meditate on the scripture so as to renew your mind in the godly way.
Although you may have tried in the past to quit and it did not work, but then you can try again. Do not see yourself as the worst human person. Remember you can never quit if you quit trying.
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